May 2010
1 tag
Jamie Kennedy is listed as a street hustler in As Good As It Gets.
May 1st
It's been too long.
Seeing Jack Nicholson cry over the worlds ugliest dog always makes me laugh.
May 1st
April 2010
3 tags
Apr 30th
3 notes
To spite my soon to be ex roommate
I am training his dog to get on the couch. All the time. I’m hiding treats under the cushions. I sit next to him, pet him, and repeat, “goooood boooy!”. I wouldn’t, but he accuses my dog of so much, so this is necessary, I think. I’ve got through the 15th to mess with my this guy’s mind. Any more suggestions?
Apr 29th
3 notes
Apr 29th
197 notes
Apr 29th
175 notes
Apr 29th
161 notes
Why did no one tell me Rise Against and  Flogging Molly would be at sunfest this year??
Apr 29th
1 tag
Barter system: Steven Colbert pays a veterinarian
I have to take my dog to the vet for x-rays and blood tests. I just now realize that I have $150 in my bank. Do you think I can just pay in canaries?
Apr 28th
1 tag
Apr 27th
1 note
Apr 27th
Apr 27th
344 notes
2 tags
Apr 26th
119 notes
“The sky looks pissed. The wind talks back. My bones are shifting in my skin...”
– “The Chain” - Ingrid Michaelson
Apr 26th
2 tags
Roommate wars
I tell my roommate I’m moving in a month. He acts sullen until I give him last months rent (and some candy). THEN I leave the oven and the tv on because I was running late for a meeting(didn’t even think about it). So he rips the ac control panel off the wall?!? None of these things make sense.
Apr 26th
aaannddd
my dog has heartworms. cue feelings of :  Guilt, anxiety, penuriousness, sheer terror worry (that this could be his last year as my buddy.) Advice?
Apr 24th
super-michael asked: Why the huge manatee?
Apr 24th
1 tag
seriously considering changing my URL
to OhtheHugeManatee.tumblr.com
Apr 23rd
I lock a lot of texts, volume 2
fatmanatee: pterodactyls: Here are the ones that work out of context. I know they work without context, because that’s how I received them. Arrived at hotel. Have been informed that my room is haunted. Hope ghost enjoys watching me drink beer and watch television. VICKY AAAAGGGGGGHHHHHH inexplicable heavy rain at avenue x i am full of so many inconvenient and impossible desires right now...
Apr 23rd
14 notes
1 tag
I was so excited
to try this new soup at lunch today. In my excitement, I never saw the lack of pop top on the can. And no can opener at work. waaaahhh
Apr 23rd
Survivor just BROKE MY HEART
Apr 23rd
1 tag
Apr 22nd
Apr 22nd
286 notes
My friend Adam, who is doing a two year biking trip for charity, had his backpack stolen in Miami. How totally LAME. Inside was his laptop, money, journals, and all his personal stuff.  Now I’m not saying you need to give him money, but you can always host him for an evening if he passes through your city. He should be hitting the west coast of Florida on his way to South America. So help...
Apr 21st
1 tag
Apr 21st
1 note
the ragbag: peculiar elizabethan stage directions →
enter hieronimo; he knocks up the curtain hell is discovered volpone peeps from behind a traverse eugenius discovered sitting loaded with many irons; a lampe burning by him; then enter clowne with a piece of browne bread and a garret root a couch discovered with the duke on it enter lopez at a table with jewels and money upon it, an egg roasting by a candle exit orestes dragging...
Apr 21st
77 notes
1 tag
Apr 21st
383 notes
Apr 20th
15 notes
2 tags
Apr 20th
3 notes
Apr 19th
527 notes
1 tag
BAM!
Totally talked that bank jerk into refunding a overdraft fee. It was totally not my fault, btdubs. Totally.
Apr 19th
Apr 19th
5 notes
2 tags
Apr 18th
Apr 17th
1,384 notes
Obama extends hospital visitation rights to...
alinasmith: From the Washington Post article: “President Obama mandated Thursday that nearly all hospitals extend visitation rights to the partners of gay men and lesbians and respect patients’ choices about who may make critical health-care decisions for them, perhaps the most significant step so far in his efforts to expand the rights of gay Americans. The president directed the...
Apr 16th
33 notes
Apr 15th
1 note
I have to go to the post office
on April 15th. Should be just awful.
Apr 15th
Apr 15th
34 notes
Apr 14th
39 notes
Apr 14th
107 notes
Apr 14th
1 tag
Apr 14th
Apr 12th
Apr 12th
52 notes
Apr 12th
2,498 notes
1 tag
Apr 9th
1 tag
Apr 9th
1 note
Apr 9th
394 notes
Suggestions?
Aaaaannnd I forgot to get my mom a present for her birthday. File under: things I do every year.
Apr 9th
1 tag
Apr 8th